How is your heart? How are you feeling?
Recently I experienced a personal turning point and with that...I have a short story I want to share with you.
Last week my husband, son & myself traveled to see family in NY & PA.
On our way home back to North Carolina I was in a foul mood!
I was such a snarling sour puss to my husband, silently swore at reckless drivers, and steeped in negative thoughts the whole way home. UGH!
During the drive I summoned my mindful practices of gratitude, self-hypnosis, breathing...all to no avail. UGHHHH.
I tried to figure out what was happening on the inside but couldn’t get past the internal knots.
I definitely felt uncomfortable on some level because I had an upset stomach.
Hours after our long drive we arrived home safely.
The next day I went for my morning walk and thankfully dropped into Mother Nurture.
I immersed myself in the fresh smell of the flowers, the birds, the streaming water, the sunlight.
My lifted heart and inner peace lasted for a few hours after my walk and then...sour puss came back and I started snarling again not quite understanding what might be triggering this discomfort.
Later that evening after spewing more negativity about things out of my control, I went into my room to be still and confront this sour puss that was showing up.
Rather than journaling, I did what I call a ‘self session’ which is self-inquiry with internal dialogue.
After about five minutes of deep breathing and imagining my heart radiating and filling my body with love, I began...
“Sooo sour puss...what’s going on here?” I queried with honest and kind curiosity.
Sour puss answered back, ”I feel uncomfortable and scared.”
I compassionately asked, “What are you afraid of?”
Sour puss responded, “I’m not necessarily afraid actually, I’m MAD at the injustices in the world and I feel like I can do more to make the world a better place.”
“Hmmm, I see,” I said and asked “Well...what can you do right here right now to make the world an even better place?”
Sour puss answered, “I can be kind to my husband rather than a sour puss and offer him a back rub.”
After a few more deep breaths, I texted my husband and offered a back rub to which he quickly responded, “Sure!”
Minutes after beginning the back rub, I felt my negativity begin to subside.
During the back rub I thought of all the good things about my husband and how together we created and raised two awesome young men. I reflected on the many changes we had undergone as a family in our years together. I considered how in spite of my husband’s dysfunction on his right side due to Lyme and MS...he kept an incredibly positive attitude always thankful for another day of life. I thought of my own amazing healthy body and how much I love and appreciate her.
Before I knew it, sour puss had vanished and my whole heart was lifted with love, appreciation, and gratitude for all I have and all we endured -and got through- together. I also began to think of ways I could help others navigate the ‘out of control’ feeling easily felt when ruminating about climate change, war, and uncertainty.
And so, I offer this true story as medicine for your heart should you find yourself steeping in toxic negativity.
Giving kindness to yourself and another truly opens the door of your heart, releases negativity, and ushers in the strongest energy (and medicine) on this planet...LOVE.
Anyone can make the world an even better place by spreading more love and more peace.
(YES...and I hug trees too!)
If you want to consciously process uncomfortable emotions in a productive way that lifts you, not harms you...I can guide you.
In the interim, I hope this short story inspired you to do something kind for yourself and for someone or something else.
Certainly...at the very least, I hope you'll connect with the healing energy (Love) of your heart and Mother Nurture.
If you want to drop into your own self-help & goodness...here's my Resources Page with helpful practices.