Probably like most of us, this past weekend I felt disjointed, not myself, a little sad, lost.
I wandered around room to room not feeling like doing anything.
I lacked motivation and instead felt scattered, tired and irritable to those nearby.
In this slight chaos of mind, I did what I learned from Mindfulness practice and tell others to do. I spent time with my feelings, rather than push them away or avoid them.
“Hi Sadness, oh, there you are...what’s going on for you today?” I said to myself.
Sadness replied with, “I feel like nothing makes sense right now. It’s sad and weird at the same time. I prefer to feel like I have some control over the future and right now I don’t feel that way.”
Sadness paved a clear path for Uncertainty to arrive, where I found myself in a deeper state of paralysis.
Then came Judgment, “Mary, what are you doing to help humanity?” “Mary, how are you going to make ends meet?” “Mary, why aren’t you embracing every moment?” “Mary, Mary...”
Oh yes, I was having a thought party in my planet head and decided to take a much-needed nap.
After waking up and feeling a little better, I gave myself permission to take the rest of the day off from the usual Sunday chores and plans I had made.
I went on a short drive to look at a beautiful nearby lake and enjoyed just being outside.
I watched my son buzz cut my other son’s shoulder-length hair completely off his head.
Note, I think everyone in our household might have been feeling the same need for change, or good news.
Despite going to bed early at night, it was difficult to fall asleep, so I spent time asking the Universe to help us and the Earth heal, and then listened to Kenneth Soares on Insight Timer, the meditation app, and away I went to la la land.
This morning I woke up feeling 99% better.
Thankfully the answers came to me.
I remembered reading Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, and contemplated how he survived the horrid concentration camps and suffering by envisioning a brighter, future place of being.
I too needed to create a clearer, more joyful vision forward of brand new possibilities.
I know we all have a purpose here on earth, you and me and us.
I also know that this current pandemic has the capacity to lead us to even better lives, and an even better existence.
Hence, the only certainty and Wisdom we all share is that life is uncertain.
And so...we must ask ourselves as parents, friends, family and caretakers of this planet...
‘How do we want to show up?’
‘Who do we really want to be?’
‘What can we do with our given circumstances?’
‘How can we help each other?’
‘What are we learning?’
‘What is our way forward?’
This is a crossroad upon which we ALL stand.
My hope is that we make choices for the greater good of all...you, me, us and Mother Earth.
I KNOW we WILL thrive...TOGETHER.
You know this too.
May we all pray and imagine the vision forward for EVERYONE working together in Collaboration, Compassion, Promise, Peace and Love for an even more joyful experience in this great adventure we call Life.